This weekend, someone decided that my car had something that they wanted.

Yup, my car got broken into.

If you have ever had your car or home broken into, you probably understand how violated I feel. Also, the anger that follows isn't a pretty sight. One of my favorite clutches, sunglasses, and my makeup bag were stolen from my car.

I can only assume whoever stole my belongings also suffers from rosacea and needs some specialty makeup. I've had 48 hours to process my anger, so for now I made a list to help the thieves who stole my belongings. I also took the liberty of including a photo of my face of disgust.

Dear Theives,

You left a huge mess in your haste to get away. I could't help but notice you have a thing for used makeup and beat-up sunglasses. I figured you are strapped for cash and you need some extra cash flow. Please enjoy some ideas on how you can make some extra money this summer and NOT have to steal from people who live month-to-month.

  1. Get a job.
  2. Don't miss work. (Otherwise you don't get paid.)
  3. Find something you can do over and over again, whether it be flipping burgers, answering phones, or pulling out weeds. You'll have to put in, like, 40 hours worth of a work a week. (What normal people do. You can handle it.)
  4. Clean up your mess. Whether you're stealing things from my car or you're at your new place of work, clean up! (Your grandma would be so mad you left a mess for someone else to clean up.)
  5. Treat others the way you want to be treated. I'm not saying that it's okay that you choose to steal, but you'll understand how bad this sucks when it happens to you. 

Please notice this list involved actual work. It didn't involve any stealing. Look at that -it's a win win! Also, please enjoy my used makeup. I really hope you find the perfect shade. Work it, honey!