Don’t Complain About Your Job Unless It Involved Licking Monkey Butt – You Heard Me, Monkey Butt
I like to make myself out to be the martyr, spending countless hours in my air-conditioned radio studio and all, but it's all about perspective. My job got a whole lot better with just one headline.
Yes, a Chinese zookeeper witnessed a young monkey eating a peanut. Anyone of us that have had a few peanuts at a ballgame know that they don't break down real well. The zookeeper in question sprung into action. To the operating room? Nope. Let's dim the lights, put on some Al Green and spend the next hour licking monkey butt to dislodge the peanut. Wow.
The fact that there's a picture to go along with this story on Gawker makes it all the more disturbing. I can pass off anything done in China as absolutely necessary as long as it's rural enough that no pictures exist of said monkey-shine. Once there's photographic evidence, including confused look on monkey's face and very creepy smile on the zookeeper's face, I'm out.
At least we now know why the monkey has a smoking habit. It's all that monkey butt-licking satisfaction. Was it good for you?