Driving to Work in the Texas Cold: 5 Stages of Grief
It officially feels like winter in Central Texas, and if you're like me, it was a Herculean task getting out of your warm, lovely bed and venturing out into the deathly cold.
Speaking of death, ever hear of the Kübler-Ross model? It's a theory proposing five stages of grief, all of which I experienced while driving this morning.
1. DENIAL: I don't need to get up early to warm up the car. That TV weather guy couldn't predict his next birthday. How cold could it really be?
2. ANGER: Why was it blazing hot yesterday, and now I'm suddenly on a rodney in the bitter North Atlantic?! Make up your damned mind, Texas!
3. BARGAINING: Just heat up, baby. Just give me a little heat and I'll get a mechanic to figure out why that CHECK ENGINE light is on, I promise. I swear. But I can't do that if my fingers freeze off, so help me out.
4. DEPRESSION: Why not just veer into oncoming traffic and end it? It's better than freezing to death and giving Mother Nature the satisfaction.
5. ACCEPTANCE: It's never going to be warm again. This is my life now.
Godspeed, Central Texas. Godspeed.