It Turns Out That Kelsey’s Revenge Was Tainted With Something… Find Out What!!!
Well… Today was my day of reckoning. Today I stood tall to confront whatever ‘revenge’ that the listeners, and a few friendly voters, chose to be my fate. Today I was prepared to graciously accept my destiny. Well… as it turns out, fate tastes distinctly different than I thought it would. The public chose Baby Food and I was ready for Baby Food. My nemesis was a pair of little glass jars with ‘Vegetable Medley’ on one and ‘Chicken and Gravy’ on the other. Blindfolded I was unable to tell the difference between the two options so rather than taking the cowardly way out, Jason (AKA Spyder) and myself took the bull by the horn and boastfully announced that we would devour BOTH! Like a good friend of mine said to me at one point, “If you are going to be a bear, be a grizzly!”.
It turns out that this was a poor choice. The first jar that we chose to tackle was the ‘Vegetable Medley’. It was a mixture of green vegetables, spinach, peas and a hint of apple. With a slight sweet aftertaste, it was not as horrendous as I imagined it would be. Problem was as I attempted to take it as a shot, most of the juice came out first. That left a glob of green grossness to plop into my mouth. Unable to just swallow it like a shot as planned, it was a little hard to get it down. After I polished off that first jar, I turned my attention to the second jar with Spyder (AKA Jason). Tapping them together in true manly fashion, I turned it up expecting it to taste something like the ‘Chicken and Gravy’ label claimed it to be, however I could not have been more wrong… So foolish was that decision that I found myself at this point to have an AWFUL grainy liquefied meat mixture in my mouth that my pride and manliness demanded that I swallow. I did my best to will it down, only gagging and nearly throwing it up only once before victoriously forcing it down into my stomach. Looking over at my cohort in the disgusting punishment that we were suffering, he was not having such a winning moment. However, at the end of the day we both finished both jars, doubling the challenge laid out before us with not a drop of vomit hitting the floor.
At this point Kelsey admitted that she had added something special to the concoction that we had before us. Thinking that we would choose the smaller of the two jars, she had added SARDINE JUICE to the ****ing ‘Chicken and Gravy’ baby food. No small transgression as before we started eating I asked for reassurance that nothing was in the jars but baby food. It turns out that Kelsey’s revenge reeked of lies and sardines!
Now it is the time to once again reach out to you, the valued listeners, to help me decide if we are ‘EVEN’ as Kelsey has declared, or if because of the deceit she has sacrificed the evenness of our feud and has taken several huge steps into the direction of being owed big time!
Take a moment and vote. Tell us what you think and if you agree with me, the victim in this case, then retribution shall be mine. If you think that I’m wrong and that we are even, then it shall be the case. I can almost assure the listeners and fans of US105 that I will do minimal things back to her…
However, at this time I sit here, nearly four hours later with the taste of fish unable to dissipate from my pallet, I cannot guarantee anything!