Jamie Garrett Celebrates Birthday With Surprise From His Wife – No, Not That

OK, the cat's out of the bag.  I'm a little off my rocker when it comes to my birthday.  For being a loudmouth radio DJ, I actually shun individual attention of any kind.  That's why I may be certifiably loony when it comes to hiding my birthday.

Every year since I became a slave to... I mean, member of... Facebook, I've changed my date of birth in the days before my birthday to an earlier date just to avoid the inevitable messages from people I don't know.  I'm not being crappy about it.  Honestly.  I just hate extra attention.

"But Jamie, for somebody that hates birthday attention, talking about it on the radio and on your web page sure is a strange way of showing it", you might be saying to yourself.  To which I'd reply, "Yeah, but...".  The "yeah but" in this case is the wildcard known as my wife.

My Facebook deception, combined with sweeping it under the rug at work and elsewhere, actually worked well the past two years.  This year, I pulled down the artwork commemorating the April birthdays at work, I lied and told a co-worker my birthday was in July when asked, and I would have gotten away with it all if it wasn't for my meddling wife.

My wife blows it up on birthdays.  She celebrates a birth MONTH, not a birth DAY.  In all fairness, she goes out almost as much for the boys' birthdays AND for mine.  She's surprised me time and time again because I make absolutely no mention of my birthday for weeks ahead of time.  That allows her to fly under the radar because I never plan anything extravagant myself.

I've even taken days off at work to avoid being at work on my birthday.  One birthday about five years ago I got a call from work asking when I was going to be in for the day.  I was in the middle of Belton Lake on a kayak.  I was coming in that day.  I'd properly requested the day off, but I didn't tell anyone else I was taking the day off.  They had a sushi cake waiting for me, and I wasn't even there.  Nor did I make the attempt to come in after my kayaking adventure.

My plan for 2015 appeared to be working as it should.  I changed my Facebook birthday last week, I've made no mention of it on-air or anywhere else for the past several weeks (other than to jokingly beg for concert tickets as a gift, but that's just shameful pandering for concert tickets, not birthday love), and I thought I was free and clear.

I woke up to find out otherwise.  The cookies are awesome.  That goes without saying.  Jaima at Jaima's Cookie Creations in Temple did an incredible job.  Waking up to see the pics on Facebook with a sweet birthday message from my wife meant my cover was blown.  That was a risk I knew was out there.  Make it through the day without anyone catching on and you're home free, but get caught and you're exposed as the weird, antisocial person you actually are.

Whoops.  My house of cards had crumbled.  My wife showed up to drop off the cookies at work, and my co-worker found out I'd lied about my July birthday, Kim from Accounting found out I removed her birthday notice on the bulletin board, and it forced a bit of arts and crafts creativity on the part of the staff for my birthday card.  If you're keeping track at home, yes, that's a Christmas card refashioned into a birthday card because I'd lied and said my birthday was in three months.

Thanks for caring, and thanks for putting up with a weird, antisocial co-worker.  Thanks to Erica for the cookies, and for spilling the beans.  I have to bring up that she's 43 days older than me.  She's a cougar, and I'm her prey.