I never heard of Buc-ee's before I moved to Texas. They say they have everything. Must be right, because now it seems they offer biting monkeys.

If you've ever been to a monkey house in a zoo, you'd realize that no one should own a monkey. This loon feels the need to bring it into public places. Well, NBCDFW is reporting that it allegedly bit a teenager inside a Terrell, Texas Buc-ee's last Friday.

Hanging out at an interstate convenience store is already high on the danger level. After all, serial killers need gas and overpriced peanut snacks just like everyone else. Now you have to deal with disturbed humans who think animals are people.

And you can't tell me that if you start letting monkeys into the store that the "clean bathroom" reputation isn't going to go away faster than you can say "feces throwing monkey."

Police say they just want to make sure the monkey is good on its shots, which might be code for "we want to shoot the monkey". People don't seem to have a problem choking the chicken, so why not shooting the monkey? Bite my kid, you can bet a "shot will ring out.