You know you've always wanted to decapitate matches, then light them all on fire.

When I was 17 I found myself in a bar in southern Germany with my cousins. I was mesmerized by this beautiful German girl who was gyrating to Laura Branigans' "Gloria".

I was uber tempted to light the whole matchbook on fire

I'd never been to a strip club before, but if this was how they danced in one, by God I couldn't wait to turn 21 so I could go. When the girl finished she went over to her boyfriend and lit up a cigarette.

I don't smoke. Never have. But, for some reason, after watching this hot girl I felt the urge to try it . Hated it. The only part of the process I liked was striking the match to light the ah, cigarette. That was what was fun. I was uber tempted to light the whole matchbook on fire. Then I was tempted even more, to set all the matches on fire. I left the bar thinking I was a pyromaniac. But at least I'd be a pyro with healthy lungs. Turns out, I'm normal. Everyone wants to set all the matches on fire. At the Slow Mo Guys do.