Call me crazy, but if you're going to line up to play some serious dodgeball, of which I expect to see none at this Saturday's World of Texas Dodgeball Challenge at the Bell County Expo, you've got to have some serious, mean muscle on your team.  You also need personality, which is why you'll find my list of dodgeball players I'd take the floor with is filled with a mixture of beauty, brawn and balls.

 

 

  • 1

    Brian Wilson

    Crazy Has a Name, and That Name is Brian

    When looking for a Dodgeball teammate it's good to have the cannon to knock an opponent out of the game, but it's also good to have someone the other team knows is a little off.  He's got the hair, the beard and that little twinkle of crazy in his eyes.

    Photo credit Getty Images-184710691
  • 2

    Patrick Willis

    Line Up, Kids, It's Time For a Beating

    Patrick Willis had a rough upbringing, and the commitment he made to emerge from the bottom will inspire his teammates.  His bulging muscles will also intimidate the hell out of opposing teams.

    Photo credit Getty Images-137573965
  • 3

    Tonya Harding

    My Guess is Tonya is the Type to Bring a Gun to a Knife Fight

    Tonya Harding is the only athlete not currently playing in their respective sport, but figure skating is barely a sport to begin with, and her willingness to play dirty will come in handy.  If things are looking bleak for our team we've got our goon to handle it.

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  • 4

    Matthew Stafford

    The Kid's Got a Gun, and His Southern Upbringing Will Come in Handy

    There's a little extra fight in everyone born and raised in Texas.  There's a need to be a badass, and Matthew Stafford's Texas upbringing, combined with that cannon attached to the right side of his body, will light up opponents willing to stand their ground, and scare the fight right out of the rest.

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  • 5

    Metta "Ron Artest" World Peace

    He's the Dennis Rodman of His Day, and That Will Come in Handy in Dodgeball

    If Dennis Rodman was a sideshow, Metta World Peace is the Three Ring Circus.  A (literally) crazy man with off-the-charts athleticism will be just the character needed to give our team the legitimacy of people willing to cross the lines of fair play to bring home the championship.

    Got crazy? Photo credit Getty Images-142692311
  • 6

    Jennie Finch

    Call Me Sexist and Unoriginal, But a Sexy Female Athlete With an Underarm Cannon is Very Useful

    She's the only reason I've had to watch a softball game since.... well, since ever.  She's hot, she's blonde, she's a gamer and she's just the kind of eye candy to literally and figuratively bring men to their knees.

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  • 7

    Lebron James

    The Desire to Win and Unmatched Athleticism Make Lebron my Team Captain

    Despite double and triple-teams in the press AND on the court, Lebron James is just the guy to lead my team past the hub-bub that comes with sporting championships.

    Photo credit Getty Images-146087498
  • 8

    Brett Favre

    You Can Take the Boy Out of the South, but You Can't Take the South Out of the Boy

    Brett Favre is one of two retired athletes to make my dodgeball team, and it's with good reason.  He's the craziest, bravest, nuttiest quarterback to play in the 21st century, and his free-for-all mentality is perfect for the dodgeball court.

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  • 9

    Aroldis Chapman

    An Unrivaled Fastball and the Hunger of an Immigrant Breed an Athlete Willing to Fight

    When you come from nothing you'll stop at nothing to get something.  Aroldis Chapman has a fastball that clocks in at over 100 MPH, and his youthful attitude and desire to succeed will push the rest of my dodgeball team.  When you're willing to risk it all, leaving your life and family behind in Cuba, you won't stop until you've reached the top.

    Photo credit Getty Images-147177354
  • 10

    Laila Ali

    A Killer Right Hook Translates to Knockouts on the Dodgeball Court

    Laila Ali was raised around greatness, and greatness breeds greatness.  We'll need her to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee to deliver some knockout shots to the competition.

    Photo credit Getty Images-2478108