Hey Gang,

How did you enjoy the best award show you’ll see this year?  Wasn’t it great!  It’s combination of Rianna, and other boob jokes; over the top musical numbers, done with help of a “gay” choir; bringing in the “geeks” with a “Star Trek” moment; tying that in with the “routines” that were on the risky side, which gave us the best musical number of the evening, “I Saw Your Boobs”.  OMG, it’s sure to win an Emmy.  It all leads us to the Big Q Tip.

By: Jason Merritt
Getty Images Entertainment

Grease may be the word, but “subtlety” is the key.  If the world expects you to be a “douche”, then be a douche, but do it on the sly.  Seth McFarlene was a great host because of this.  Everyone expected him to be a douche, and he was, but he did it in the format set up for him, with over the top musical numbers.  He actually got an Oscar winner to do a dance number.

By: Jason Merritt
Getty Images Entertainment

I ask you, is there a more beautiful woman on the planet than Charlize Theron?   Beauty; Style; Grace; she embodies the classicHollywoodmode of the past, and brings it into the future.

Everyone expected “gay”, “sex” and “Jew” jokes from Seth, and you got them, but again, though subtlety.  The most “crossing the line” jokes came from Ted, the puppet.  We all know, puppets can say what humans can’t, because puppets don’t know any better.  And through Ted, we got the standard “Hollywood is Jewish”, and “Hollywood Sex Party” jokes.

Subtlety should be taken into consideration by the Women of Hollywood.  Check your dress ladies.  If you can’t walk without stepping on it, don’t wear it.  If you can’t climb stairs with it, don’t wear it.  Although, for us, it was fun to watch someone trip up the stairs as the first act after winning an Oscar.  Could that be a metaphor for picking your next movie after winning?

By: Jason Merritt
Getty Images Entertainment

Also, if you’re going to have sex backstage at an award show, wait until after you present your award, Kristen Stewart.  What the hell, did you all catch this?  Her dress was off center, it looked like she was limping, and do we need to mention here hair.  Oh sure, she was on crutches earlier, but still I'm allowed to make stuff up on occasion, right? On a brighter note, and least she looked flush, which made her show some emotion, which showed us some type of personality.

Juaquin, if you hate these things so much, why do you show up?  Do you enjoy looking like a spoiled child in front of a billion people?  How does he keep getting work?

Again, The Big Q Tip, Be Subtle.