Thief Spreads Valentine Love Early as US 105 Van Gets Robbed

Not to step in and hinder or threaten the investigation being done by the great people at the Temple Police Department, but the story of the US 105 van being robbed is just too good NOT to share at this point.

Photo by me

We know who he is, and we know he'll eventually be caught, but as for the decades-old stereo in the console, my guess is we'll never EVER replace it. I see a lot of silent drives in my future. As for the broken window and siphoned gas, those can be replaced. After spending a good hour of my time cleaning up the broken glass and getting the beast road-worthy I completed the longest half-mile drive of my life. I'm genuinely surprised I made it to the gas station considering the gas gauge went DOWN from "E" when I turned on the van.

To back up a bit, I discovered the US 105 van had been broken in to sometime Tuesday afternoon. I saw that the driver's side window was busted and that the gas tank was open. I immediately knew somebody either sucked gas OUT or put something harmful IN. You can never be too sure these days. Turns out Temple PD have a good idea of who he is and think they'll nab him pretty soon. That won't bring back the stereo we'll never replace. It also won't bring back the embarrassment that comes from driving a busted-up van to a remote broadcast with half a broken window hanging off the side. Throw in a few rain sprinkles en route and the story gets even funnier.

Photo by me

The ultimate slap in the face to all this is the White-Trash-Window I was forced to "engineer" after the remote at Dodge Country on Saturday. I grabbed two old shirts from the prize closet and rigged up my own window, utilizing some tape at the bottom to prevent rain getting in as the wind blows. Stay classy, US 105.

As a "thank you" to the wonderful individual(s) responsible, I've composed some Valentine's Day-esque poetry I'd like to share. I came across a notebook over the weekend filled with my sad, sad teen-poetry (that's a different story for a MUCH different time), and seeing how awful I was at writing poetry back then as a lonely teenager has inspired me. I'm going to post this poem in the hopes it reaches the jackwagon(s) responsible for this dirty deed. I'm hoping they realize the pain I'm inflicting on the rest of the world by releasing my terrible poetry and will decide to end the torture. That's right, the moment the perp is caught or turns himself in, I'll take down this awful poetry so that the pain will end for all involved.

Larceny for Valentine's Day

Thanks for an early surprise for Valentine's Day...

Sure feeling the love you're sending my way...

A stolen stereo and some siphoned gas...

and there's all that broken glass.

Wind through the broken window makes it hard to see,

Rain drops in my eyes a gift from you to me...

You broke the window despite an unlocked door...

and that kind of stupidity shakes me to the core.

It's hard to think of where hope for a better life goes...

on your hands and knees sucking gas through a hose?

I get mad until I think of how sad your life must be