Since when did Valentine's Day turn into the wintertime Halloween?  All this candy has got to go.  I went to my son's Valentine party at school today, and after all that candy I'm dealing with insanity.

Logan caught red-handed, chocolate in hand. Photo by me.

I could never figure out why elementary schools released students early after their Valentine parties.  The middle schools and the high schools all go the full day, but the youngsters get out at noon.  After being to enough of these parties I should have known it was all about crazy kids hopped up on sugar.

Candy hearts, Nerds, Dip Stix and more, all in a handy brown paper bag that I'm guessing could double-up as an air sickness bag in case all that sugar has to come back up.  I thought Valentine's Day was about giving cards to 15 kids you don't want to give cards and 5 kids you do want to give cards.

The mandatory giving of Valentine's Day cards spares feelings.  All feelings.  Any feeling of any kind.  "Here's your required piece of paper addressed to 'a friend' with a fake tattoo of a heart".  How sentimental.

Valentine's Day's early release for the elementary school students is nothing more than the teachers pulling a fast one over on us.  For 179 days each year we pawn off our kids on these teachers, whether tired, sick, hyper, angry or contagious.  This is their one day of revenge.  "We're gonna hop the kids up on Wonka and send them home.  Get you some of that!!!".

Upon arriving at work with Logan, my instructions were clear:  "Be quiet so I can work, and no more candy.  I don't need you acting like a wild man."  Neither of those two have happened, and the reason why is Kelsey.  Kelsey Kilter.  You will be punished for what you've done.


After first appearing with a heart full of chocolate, Kelsey proceeded to pull Logan into her office and fill his pockets with enough candy to ensure I wouldn't be getting a bit of peace and quiet over the next several hours.  As you can see, I found him ducking behind the counter, munching down on chocolate.

It doesn't take much to get him going, and as you can see from the video, I'm not getting much accomplished this afternoon.  Maybe I should try some of this candy and see if I can equal his level of insanity.  It'll make for an interesting show until I crash from the sugar and fall asleep in my chair.