Kinder Eggs Are Coming to America Next Year

O.K. parents, you have less then a year to educated you kids.

Kinder eggs. If you're like me, you have no clue what the hell these are. Well, it seems that putting crap toys in egg shaped containers wasn't good enough for the rest of the world, so "foreigners" forged ahead and put toys inside egg shaped chocolate containers.

Well America was not going to have none of that. We've taught our kids to eat chocolate. So, to save the children, Kinder Eggs are illegal. That is until January of 2018. I guess by then we should be ready to watch our children choke to death? Yet, another thing I don't get.

So make sure you tell your kids that if they receive a Kinder Egg, not to eat it. Break it apart, get the toy, or some type of child killing device, out of it, then eat the chocolate pieces. If you want, you can tell them that the chocolate is 2nd rate garbage and too just throw it in the trash.

Now, that being said, the reason I'm writing about it is because it seems a Central Texas Store has already put an order in for the tasty toys of death. If you want to give the parents of children you're not that found of nightmares, you'll be able to pick up Kinder Eggs at the Candy Outfitters.

O.K. I'm just kidding around. These are going to be great. No one's going to die, everything will be fine. Really. What could go wrong?