Mansplaining 101: Gov. Abbott Has Promised to Eliminate Rape In Texas

Come to Texas, where rape will be eliminated, even though the state ranks in the top 20 places in the nation where you could be sexually assaulted. 😊

According to a report from FOX 4, during a press conference on Tuesday, Governor Abbott fielded questions from reporters with concerns about Texas' new law that makes abortion after six weeks illegal.

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The Question On Everyone's Mind

One brave reporter asked Gov. Abbott why a woman would be required to carry her rapist's baby, as the new law does not include protections for victims of rape or incest.

Eliminating Rape In Texas

63-year-old, Gov. Abbott, who has never possessed a uterus, ovaries, or even some lovely Fallopian tubes, excitedly explained:

"It doesn't require that at all, because OBVIOUSLY it provides at least six weeks for a person to be able to get an abortion."

Oh, but Gov. Abbott didn't stop there. He continued on, stating:

"Texas will work tirelessly to make sure that we eliminate all rapists from the streets of Texas by aggressively going out and arresting them and prosecuting them and getting them off the streets.”

Statistics Say Otherwise

I mean, the FBI reported that Texas was actually the 16th place in the nation for the highest numbers of rape and sexual assault based on the most recent data from 2019, but OBVIOUSLY if we eliminate rapists from the state our problems would be solved.

The Answer Is Simple

YAYYYYYYYY! Oh my goodness, why didn't any of the rest of us think of that? I'm sure the governor and his team have a way of magically seeing which random people on the street will one day sexually assault someone. Forget that the vast majority of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows and trusts.

Plus I mean, women should just know the moment conception occurs, right? It's not like women have irregular cycles or anything, geez. Thankfully, we have our amazing Texas Governor to explain these things that us womenfolk just don't understand.