As a former victim of crime I get extremely upset when I read about people's hard earned money being taken from them by sleazy, nameless perps.  Sometimes, however, the perp is just so stupid you can't help but laugh.


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Meet Johnnie Gooden, AKA Michelle Obama's newly-adopted son.  Gooden recently thought the best way to come across some much needed money wouldn't be to get a job & earn it... Nooooooo, this is the Stupid News Network, and that just won't do.  Gooden decided to walk into a Maryland bank armed not with a knife, but with an air-tight story.

Gooden, with a straight face, tried to convince the teller that he had just recently been adopted by Michelle Obama.  His story to the teller went like this:  Michelle Obama contacted him on Facebook (as I'm sure she does quite a bit) and asked him to be part of the Obama family.  Now, this was either a new tactic for political fund raising, or this dude has got to be higher than a kite.

Oh, did I mention he was carrying two bags of weed?  That's a perfect cherry on top of this dumbass sandwich.  Keep in mind, if this hidea (high-idea) had been executed in Florida, the teller probably would have believed him & given him the funds.  Ah, Florida... even when you're not in the story you're still the punchline.