Clearly, I’m in great shape. I’m an athlete!

I was once a piece of marble who has quickly chipped away into a statue of a Greek God. A Greek God I say.

Okay, that’s all a bit of a stretch. Okay, fine, it’s a straight-up fib. Don’t take my fitness advice. But I can tell you who you can trust if you want to become an actual athlete. The fine folks at Outright Fitness.

I went to the Austin gym as a spectator for one of their fitness competitions earlier this month and was very impressed by both the facility and the coaches.

With a turf field, all the equipment you can imagine and a basketball court the place is like a playground for those who enjoy fitness. Believe it or not, I was actually a certified fitness instructor. I think my credentials have been expired for just under two years. I wasn’t very good.

"For those looking to improve overall fitness, build strength, decrease body fat, and “train like an athlete”, we offer group sprint workouts, personal training and group fitness classes at our gym."

-Ouright website

Oh, winter is just around the corner so that means I got to start eating a lot of junk food. You know, so I can gain MASS!!!

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