Let me be honest... I've never completed a Rubik's cube.  Not even close.  I'll go so far as saying I don't think I've ever lined up more than two blocks in a row.  It's not (totally) because I'm an idiot.  It's because I've never cared enough to try.





If I had a photographic memory I can tell you three things I'd rather do than set the world record for fastest assembly (?) of a Rubik's Cube.


Three to See - Three Things I'd Do If I Had a Photographic Memory



  • 1

    Win an Argument With My Wife for the First Time Ever

    I can't even count the number of arguments I've lost strictly because I had no comeback for, "Oh, yeah.... name me one time I've said that".

    If I had a photographic memory, I'd be willing to hide it for a while.  I'd continue to lose arguments until I came to the perfect point in an argument to stand up and profess, "Why, yes, I DO remember the 373,418 times you've said those exact words.  Let me give them to you chronologically".

    Victory is Mine!  (more on that in Thing 3)

    Credit ThinkStock-Catherine Yeulet
  • 2

    Blindfolded Karaoke

    It may seem lame, but even in my wildest fantasies I'm not rock star material.  The most I could hope for with what I've got going on ( including the photographic memory) is to be the inspiration for a Gwyneth Paltrow movie based on a superstar karaoke singer.

    "But Jamie, you could wish for so much more than karaoke stardom with that photographic memory".

    I'll remember that criticism.  Forever.

    Give me a smoky bar, a karaoke catalog and blindfold and be prepared to be amazed.  Aim high and you may come up short.  Set you goals low (karaoke stardom) and you may just trip over those goals by accident.

    For what it's worth, I've only sung karaoke twice.  Both times I was extremely intoxicated.  So, really, this dream is just about me drinking more.

    Credit Getty Images
  • 3

    Quote 'Family Guy' Even More Than I Do Already

    As you may have gathered from my final sentence of Thing 1, I'm a "Family Guy" larcenist.  I steal a good chunk of my funny lines from the show, and it's safe to assume that, having a photographic memory, I could go for weeks at a time speaking while using ONLY "Family Guy" quotes without repeating myself much.

    The drawback to having a photographic memory is that I'd have a photographic memory.  With the good (Family Guy) comes the bad.  I can think of a handful of shows that might drive me to puncturing my eardrums to avoid getting stuck in my photographic memory.

    There's any show about Housewives... Orange County, New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, Heidenheimer.  There's any line ever spoken by Gilbert Godfried.  There's the music of... well, let's not get TOO personal.

    Credit Getty Images