Central Texas Horoscopes for July 1st – 6th

The Texas weather is warming up and it’s affecting everyone. The universe is starting to act up again, and like your cousin Ricky after 4 Busch Lights, it definitely has opinions.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Lately, you’ve been even more fiery, which is more than just the hot sauce. That’s Mars screwing with your temper. So, let’s avoid fighting your boss this week, your neighbor, or your toddler.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You are feeling comfortable and hungry. Good news: Venus is with you. Meaning it is okay for you to get that gas station fried burrito. Twice. Love might be on the menu too but just make sure it’s not expired.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

You’ve been talking more than a CB radio at a long-haul run. Slow down, bud. Mercury is buzzing, and people are only occasionally paying attention. Especially your wife. She’s tired.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

You are feeling all the feels this week. Nostalgic? Sensitive? Crying during commercials? Yep, that’s the moon tugging at your gut like Aunt Linda’s potato salad at the family reunion.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

It’s time for you to shine. Again. You pretty much get it all the time. Just don’t go accidentally Facebook live while singing karaoke shirtless again, okay?

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

You’re organizing, cleaning, and passing judgment on the rest of us. Seems normal. Saturn says chill. No one is dying because your garage isn’t organized by color, season, and specialty.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

You are calling for balance, but the scale is tipping toward chaos. It’s Pluto’s fault. Or your ex. Probably your ex. You need a beer and a night off from being the referee for your family.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You’re feeling intense and mysterious. That’s cool, but don’t pull one of those maneuvers and hide from your responsibilities again. Deal with your junk and then go full swamp witch.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

You are feeling adventurous but pass on buying a used 4-wheeler off Craigslist from a guy named T-bone. Sure, Jupiter is telling you that you’re lucky, but that lucky.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

You’ve remained industrious. Keep hustling but just remember that all work and no play makes you the most boring person at the cookout.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

You’re thinking big, cosmic thoughts this week. UFOs? Ghosts? Bringing back the moonshine podcast? Just don’t forget to do laundry space cowboy.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

You are dreaming more than a cow in clover. That’s fine but keep one foot in reality. And maybe don’t drunk text your ex at 2am while you’re bored bingeing Netflix. You aren’t psychic anymore, just bored.

If things go wrong according to the stars, Mercury is the scapegoat. Or your cousin Ricky. He’s probably the real problem, anyway.