In my lifetime of driving I've been pulled over by the police five times for various driving offenses.  My wife?  Once... before yesterday!!!  I got the call yesterday afternoon while I was still on the air.  My wife made my day with those four wonderful words, "I got pulled over".

Don't get me wrong.  It's not as if I want my wife to break the law, and I certainly don't want to pay the fine.  What I'm very glad to get out of this incident in which she was driving 37 mph in a 30 mph zone is peace and quiet.  My wife and I have always had a friendly rivalry, always trying to one-up each other.  That hobby goes back to high school when we were simply good friends and would use any opportunity to laugh at the other person's expense.

For the past three years I've had to hear about my bad driving.  My wife never complained about my driving until I got a ticket for going 57 mph in a 45 mph zone.  I could go into full detail about how I didn't deserve the ticket, that I was forced to go around a car attempting an illegal turn before suddenly going straight and speeding up, forcing me to maneuver around them.  No!!  I just accepted the punishment that day, and I've been paying for it ever since at home.

Let me be the first to tell you... NEVER TAKE THE SAFE DRIVING CLASS!!  Just pay the fine.  You end up spending significantly more than you were expecting, and it takes WAY too much time.  I did it.  It was terrible.  I should mention that this ticket was my second in three months.  The other ticket was for expired inspection so it wasn't a "moving" violation.  Still, you'd think that I'd run over children in a crosswalk the way my wife talked.  She's gotten more out of my tickets than Ray Lewis got out of deer antler spray.

For three years (ticket-free) I've listened to how horrible of a driver I am, and how I'm not allowed to drive the car I BOUGHT HER because I'm a danger on the road.  Now?  It's on!!! Somebody finally brought her down to earth.  I'd like to thank the Belton Police Department for leveling the playing field at the Garrett house.  You folks in the police force do a bang-up job.  I'm thinking of turning February 4th into a Garrett Family Holiday.

What gets me a little upset at all this nonsense is that she got out of the ticket.  She should have been made to pay for her crime.  Not just because it would help further level the playing field, but it would have also been an excellent example to my young sons that if you do the crime, you gotta pay the fine.

Have you ever gotten out of a ticket?  How'd you do it?  Share your strategy with us so that we may help ourselves in the future.