America, we have a little bit of a problem.

We are too fat and sad. I’m not just pointing a finger without looking in the mirror either. I eat too much, and I cry in excess. However, if you’re like me these things are happening at the right time, and that is when you are married with kids. In fact, you can probably blame at least one of those things on being married with kids. I know that at least three times out of five, if I am crying it is because of my daughter. I’m not talking about tears of joy either. I’m in an abusive relationship, and I need help! 

Mitch Burow
Mitch Burow
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Weight for It...

Unfortunately, America’s problem isn’t old men with dad bods and mean kids. We have an epidemic of obesity and mental illness of our youth that may be preventing them from serving in the armed forces. Uncle Sam is no longer just pointing and saying, “I Want You”. Now he is saying, “I Want You...to do some crunches” 

 A Pentagon Study

The Pentagon released a study that 77% of young Americans wouldn’t be able to join the Military without a waiver for their weight, using drugs, or being sad. Basically, the American youth has turned into a bunch of Winnie the Poohs and Eeyore’s with a dash of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo thrown into the mix. Even the Navy thinks that these kids are too chubby, and that’s saying a lot! 

NFL Players Visit USS Ronald Reagan
Getty Images Mike Theiler
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To Be (Fat) or Not to Be

It seems as if today's teens are a lot less “Oorah” and lot more “Heck Nah” when it comes to joining the military. Instead of getting training for the actual battles abroad the youth of today are too busy fighting wars online in Call of Duty, on Twitter (I mean X), and the comments section of YouTube.  

Life On Kandahar Air Base
Getty Images Paula Bronstein
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Moving Forward

The military may just have to change its approach to recruitment in order to meet quota. Maybe the Marine Corps can change their slogan from “Semper Fidelis” (latin for Always Faithful) to “Semper Ignavus” which loosely translates to “Always Slothful”, or the Army could add to their slogan making it “This We’ll Defend...As Soon as We Catch Our Breath”. 

 

The US Military was once comprised of Marines, Soldiers, Airmen, and Sailors that were the greatest example of someone being in physical shape. Now the only shape potential recruits are in is round. 

Overweight Campers Learn to Shed Pounds

Country Singers Who Served in the Military

Own This Former Military Base and Town in New Mexico

Have you ever thought about owning a town? Why not? Johnny Depp bought one. This former military base is on the market for the low, low price of $11,000,000. You'll find it roughly 120 miles south of the Colorado/New Mexico state line. Take a quick tour.

Gallery Credit: Waylon Jordan

Own This Former Military Base and Town in New Mexico

Have you ever thought about owning a town? Why not? Johnny Depp bought one. This former military base is on the market for the low, low price of $11,000,000. You'll find it roughly 120 miles south of the Colorado/New Mexico state line. Take a quick tour.

Gallery Credit: Waylon Jordan

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