Texas Woman Banned From Walmart Over Cake Cacophony
Have you ever met someone who grabs a snack off the shelf at Walmart and munches on it while shopping?
I used to have a friend with this annoying habit. Her logic was that she'd just tell anyone who asked that she intended to keep the empty package and pay for it when she checked out. To her credit, she always paid. I just found it obnoxious and constantly worried about a loss prevention person busting us and causing a scene.
As much as it bothered me, I don't know what I would have done if she'd grabbed an entire cake and just started chowing down.
Christopher Walker with the Wichita Falls Times Record News reports that a woman was recently banned from a Walmart in his town after she reportedly ate half a cake and refused to pay for the other half. (Do you only have to pay for half?)
Police say it happened on June 25. I checked to see if there was some national occasion that would call for raiding the bakery at Walmart like a starved madwoman, but all that came up was "National Strawberry Parfait Day". Sounds like she should have hit up a Dairy Queen.
Then again, maybe she was training to beat Major League Eating's world record holder for the most birthday cake consumed in under eight minutes, Matt Stonie. If that's the case, who do these Walmart fat cats think they are? They should be supporting this future foodie champion!
This Walmart actually has a history of banning champions making the absolute best decisions. Back in January, they crushed the dreams of a woman who spent hours joyriding in one of those store scooters while sipping wine from a Pringles can. (It's obvious she was already crushed enough. Way to add insult to injury, guys.)
Sadly there's no video an arrest in either incident, but I like to think it went something like this.
Walmart just hasn't had any luck with cake this year, by the way. You may remember that in early June a Walmart in Houston sold a family a Styrofoam cake.
In fact, that makes me wonder if the lady in Wichita Falls was just deep cover quality control and the media just blew her cover. Hmm...