Why the Army Birthday Parade Flopped and Why Texas Could’ve Saved It

The United States Army officially celebrated its birthday on June 14. This year is the Army's 250th birthday, and to mark the occasion the Army put on a parade right in the middle of Washington, D.C. The parade had ceremonial units and marching bands. It was everything you would expect from a branch of the military that takes immense pride in tradition.

There was only one problem. Not a lot of people showed up.

As the Army marched on, and the military precision and pageantry unfolded, the sidewalks were empty. You would think that a parade commemorating the oldest service in the U.S. military would be able to draw a crowd in the middle of the nation's capital. However, in some videos shared on the internet, there are confused tourists entering the frame almost as if they had stumbled into a renaissance fair requiring camo.

Why was there a Parade?

The Army indicated that the parade had a dual purpose of educating and inspiring America with its rich legacy of service and sacrifice. That is a worthy goal, but great intentions don't need to fill grandstands. Maybe the location had something to do with it. D.C. is hardly known for its raucous, red, white and blue crowd, unless there is a protest.

You need to do it in Texas.

If a parade like this occurred in Killeen, San Antonio, or Dallas then the streets would have been filled with folks in boots and ballcaps waving American flags like it was the fourth of July. Texas has more active-duty military and vets than most states and damn near more pride per square inch than the entire rest of the country combined. This whole Army Birthday Parade would have turned into a festival complete with barbecue and beer tents, and even a bounce house for kids.

Next year, maybe the Army should take its party somewhere they might actually be wanted. Texas won't just salute you. We will give you a better parade.