How can a 36-year-old man's day be destroyed by an empty coffee pot?  It was the catalyst to a morning that ended with snapping and shouting that would make that nutty British TV chef blush.

Whoever it was long ago that said it's the little things in life that make you happy must have been married.  Husband?  Wife?  I don't know for sure, but they were definitely married.  You don't stay happily married (or married, even) without tiny sacrifices throughout each and every day to keep the relationship balanced.

Too much from one side, or not enough from the other, can shift the marriage into disarray.  If it's allowed to continue it will build resentment.  Resentment leads to anger.  Anger leads to blowing up over an empty coffee pot.  Confused?  Let me explain.

My wife is a saint, and if she didn't lift a finger at all during the times I'm actually at home to help out around the house I'd never think twice.  I'm gone with work so often that I'm expected to contribute at a higher level than most when I'm actually AT home.  That doesn't mean I do it.  It just means the expectation is there.

That expectation, when not met, leads to resentment on my wife's part.  She busts her ass before school, after school and even during school shuffling our kids in between practices, rehearsals, sleepovers, etc.  That's on top of the 100+ kids that are her responsibility as her job every day.

After putting 150 miles on the car driving between cities, work and the grocery store means she's not really interested in CLEANING the kitchen after she spent an hour COOKING in the kitchen.  That makes sense.  I'm on it.  She lets me borrow her pink Beats headphones and I get 'er done.

Photo by Rischgitz/Getty Images
Photo by Rischgitz/Getty Images
loading...

In addition to doing my best (most of the time) to help out on the larger duties around the casa so that the peace is kept, I will, from time to time, offer up a little extra to help out.  Yesterday morning I made her eggs for breakfast.  There's no need to point out that I was in the mood for eggs and she just happened to be there.  The eggs were made and served to her.

Today she asked for help getting ready for work by ironing her dress.  My grandparents rolled over in their graves at the thought of their grandson ironing for his wife.  They're old school like that.  Yet, when asked, I delivered.  I don't even iron my own clothes, but her pink dress was ironed and ready to go before she was even ready for it.

So how does all this lead to a coffee pot ruining a day?  I made a big deal out of finally convincing my wife to get rid of the Keurig coffee maker for a traditional 12-cup coffee maker a few weeks back.  I was tired of the single serve coffee maker when there are two coffee drinkers in the house.  Now there would be enough coffee for both of us.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images
loading...

This morning, already upset at the early alarm to get my son to track practice, found an empty coffee pot, still warm from the pot of coffee made by my wife not an hour earlier.  That's right.  She woke up 30-minutes earlier than me, made a pot of coffee big enough for one or two cups for her, without any regard whatsoever to her soon-to-be-waking-up husband and his love of coffee.

It's not like I'm asking her to make a pot of coffee for me.  I'm asking her to leave the water faucet running 10-seconds longer to fill up the coffee pot a little closer to the top and putting two more spoonfuls of coffee into the coffee maker she was already using to make her own coffee.  To be honest, it's not about asking anything.  It's just one of those little things I was talking about earlier.

I feel that it's just something that should be done without asking.  It simply requires thinking 30-minutes into the future and imagining your husband walking into the kitchen to find a full pot of coffee waiting for him.  How nice would that be for the guy that made me breakfast yesterday and whom I'm going to ask to iron my dress shortly?  That's all it would have taken.

Instead, I was left without coffee for the drive to Belton to drop off my son for the final day of track practice before school.  By the time I got home it was really starting to get to me.  The ironing request that soon followed only irritated me more.  That led to being on edge, which led to me snapping at something so stupid I can't even remember what it was at this point.

A simple little thing could have changed the whole outlook on the day.  Instead, it was a big mess from the word "no"... as in NO coffee!

 

 

More From KUSJ-FM