Jamie Garrett’s Household Has Ditched the K-Cup in Favor of a Return to Traditional Coffee
I can't believe it. I finally won an argument. 13 years I've been married to the love of my life and I'd yet to win a single argument or get my way. That all changed last night when the Garrett family killed the K-Cup.
In reality, I should be very happy that the decision will save us money and save us the hassle the Keurig brings with it. From the day I first saw the Keurig I thought of it as a gimmick. I couldn't wrap my brain around spending a buck-and-a-half on half a cup of bitter coffee. It was highly overrated, but I was outvoted. In came the Keurig.
For a while I fought the good fight. Our countertop housed two coffee makers, one for my wife and one for me. I held out as long as I could, but I eventually gave in. The problem with me and the Keurig is that my morning routine will see me in the middle of emails at the house while the cup gets cold sitting on the table next to me.
Have you ever heated K-Cup coffee in the microwave? Terrible. Even worse than the bitter initial product. I can't count the number of times a cup of Keurig coffee went virtually or completely untouched. It's shameful, especially looking at some of the numbers we're learning now about the environmental impact of these K-Cups.
Not going to be swayed on your K-Cup loyalty based on the environment? OK, I get it. First off. Your K-Cup addiction isn't going to individually make or break mother earth, so I couldn't care a bit less one way or another. Just sayin'. What about this? Those Keurig machines are gross. There's always water in those things, and I'm thinking it's got to be like a petri dish of Donut Shop Coffee and unknown elements.
As for my reluctant caving on the K-Cups, I put on a brave face. I tried watering it down. I tried various creamers and sugars, despite always taking my coffee black in the past. Nothing I did worked. What killed me is that, not only did I hate the coffee, I hated that it only made half a cup. I would have to make two cups just to fill up my to-go container. Ludacris.
The K-Cup storm built and built. It got so bad that one Christmas both my mother-in-law and I got my wife the same Keurig machine without having consulted with the other. They were everywhere. There was a Keurig at home, in the RV, at the in-laws and even at my own mother's house.
I was shocked that mom caved and went the K-Cup route, but I was blown away when the sales staff here at the radio stations convinced the powers-that-be to get a special, non-Keurig, single-serve machine. The initial supply of coffee packs lasted 4 business days. The machine lasted 8 business days.
The Keurig machine in the Garrett house eventually made it to where I wasn't even drinking coffee at home. If I drank the coffee at the house I'd generally let it cool and take it down like a shot. I'm a coffee lover, and yet I was alone in my own home. I'd been left in the cold to drink nothing but OJ and water in the morning.
Little did I know at the time, but a great battle to #KillTheKCup had already begun. Websites were devoted to killing the K-Cup. YouTube had videos promoting #KillTheKCup.
Even the creator of the K-Cup has gone on record as saying he wishes he'd never invented the Keurig because of the damage to the environment. The tide began to turn, and in the Garrett household the Keurig K-Death-Grip on my wife began to waiver.
The cleanliness argument was the first crack in the armor in my wife's defense of her beloved machine. Her exact reaction when I pointed the story about the unclean machines was to attack me for drinking diet soda with aspertame. Very mature. I'm simply pointing out to you that your decision to ram that damn machine down my throat was now backfiring, and you go and get all defensive. What gives?
The real turning point for Ms. Greenpeace Garrett was the story on the environment. When she first suggested that I pick up some coffee at the store for my old coffee pot in the garage I was shocked. I actually figured that she was just tired of sharing her K-Cups with me and that was her way of telling me.
I thought the transition back to real coffee was DOA when I couldn't find the coffee maker in the garage. I vaguely remember throwing that thing away one day while cleaning out the garage. I believe my thought was something like, "I'm never going to win this argument. Let it go. Let it gooooooooo". Sorry.
I knew the thought of buying another coffee maker was going to be too much for my lovely Scrooge McDuck and that we'd be Scrooge McStuck with that Keurig. Get it? Despite the prospect of spending upwards of $20 on a new coffee maker, she gave approval. Hell, she even bought it at the store. I was blown away.
Last night the new coffee maker was plugged in, programmed and brewed up a pot of REAL coffee in the Garrett house for the first time in five years or more. Of course Miss "I Know I'm Going to Hear About This on the Radio and on the Website For the Rest of My Life" Garrett said it wasn't strong enough, but I can live with that. It's about time someone in my house hated their cup of coffee BESIDES me.
Some reading this may say, "Jamie, act like you've been there before. Don't be a poor sport. Act like you've been there before". Those people haven't spent the past 13 years losing every argument and battle that's come my way. I also know it's highly unlikely, whether I'd been a poor sport here or not, that I'll win another argument for the NEXT 13 years.