First things first I want to say I love my Grandmother.  She is one of the strongest and most loving women that I have ever had the opportunity to be around.  One of the fondest memories of my childhood is the games of cards that we played on a nightly basis.  Keep in mind that the times I spent with them at their house were days spent outside working and playing, not days spent inside on electronic devices.  When night time came, it was your option of board games, card games, or trying to find compromise of a show to watch on one of the five television channels available.  Generally, I would settle for a card game with my Grandmother who, never fails, would lay a beating on me like I stole something.  The sound of her gleeful laugh as she beat down a child was a mix of a belly laugh, hyena howl, and the noise I imagine a serial killer makes after a fresh victim.

Losing at cards aside, I still make trips to Stephenville to play cards with my 88-year-old Grandmother and the time I spend there with her will be moments that I treasure for the rest of my life.  Last time I was there and sat down to shuffle up and deal I was in complete dismay at the condition of the cards that she had tucked away for our game.

Now who won or lost that game doesn’t matter.  After arriving home I was sitting at my computer working and I remembered the sad state of affairs of her deck of cards.  I thought I’d send her a brand spanking new deck of cards and not even mention it, or who it was from.  My Grandmother is blessed with a large family and getting packages is always a very enjoyable experience for her.  As I jumped on Amazon to take advantage of my prime membership and get her some cards in two days, I was SHOCKED that the first deck of cards was one that had women on them in a state of undress.  Who would ever send something like that to someone???

Moments later after a call placed to my brother so that he could be my moral compass, I spent the best six dollars I have ever spend in my life.  That six-dollar purchase has provided me countless hours of laughter, even some shared with my Grandmother.

It’s time for the confession.  I sent my Grandmother a deck of naked men cards, and it was AHHH-MAZING!  Just the thought of her checking the mail, seeing a package and the excitement that she must have felt.  Sitting in her chair like always and tearing into that envelope and finding a deck of cards.  The thoughts going through her head as she tried to decide what to do with them, and the thought that she might have wondered for about two seconds who could have done this for her?

After two days of spontaneous laughter at the very thought of her gift, they arrived and I recorded the call to her where we discussed all that had happened…  Now I share it with you…

Since this call she has told me that she has hidden them away so that no one can find them.  I think I might just need to escalate this situation and send her another precious gift…

Suggestions are welcome.

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