Greetings all,

Here we are only a few days away from the most successful “fake” holiday of all time.  Atheists might protest and ask about Christmas.  Well, let me just say that Christmas is a vital part to our way of life, economically and emotionally.  I mean any holiday that makes people nicer to each other should be celebrated.  And, it’s the best time to buy electronics.  We need to keep that holiday.  I’m talking Valentines Day, the holiday for lovers.  #%#% you horny toads!  If you need one day out of the year to tell someone that you love them, you really don’t love them.  You love chocolate, so please, grab some and run off to a dark corner and indulge and leave the rest of us alone.


Wow!  Sorry about that outburst.  I guess I’m feeling a bit left out this month.  I’m not a president, I’m not black, and I’m not in a relationship.  That’s 0 for 3, strikeout!  Is it Friday night?  Am I at a bar?  Where am I?  Why is it in my dreams when I crave pie a mathematician shows up?  Why is it when I try to type shows, I type shoes?  Is it because I only have one pair, and that pair squeaks?  Is it my subconscious telling me to buy a new pair of shows, I mean shoes?  Why hasn't the Vatican come out with a line of their own cleaning products called the “Angel Dusters”, what are they high?  How could they give up the market so easily to the “Dirt Devil”?

Wow again! So sorry.  Lets get to the tip for this Valentines day.  Keep it simple.  The symbol for this Holiday is a heart.  That’s where you get your gift.  Give them something from you, not a store.  If you go jewelry, and it’s not an engagement ring, you’re a tease.  So, either go for the home run, or go from heart.  Or just go for whatever’s going to get into bed, that’s the real goal here.  Who are we kidding?