It's hard enough to get up in the morning for work without having hurdles put in your way.  

Photo by Jamie Garrett

Whether that hurdle is no clean underwear, no starch to iron, no milk for breakfast or misplacement of the Desitin, nobody likes surprises in the morning.

My morning is a routine, as is the case for most people.  I get up, have my morning movement and get the wife and kids off to school before I can finally go into the long, difficult process it takes to get me presentable for the day.  Like clockwork, I get out my clothes, get in the shower, get dressed and finish up by brushing my teeth.  Brushing my teeth last means sometimes I get a little toothpaste on my shirt.  If that happens it can ruin a man's day.

Today I found something far worse than spilling a little toothpaste.  As I do every day, I reached into the middle drawer of the sink and pulled out the tube of (what I thought was) toothpaste.  It was not.  Luckily the smell reached my nose the moment before the toothbrush would have hit my mouth.  It didn't stink, but it definitely wasn't toothpaste.  It was definitely Desitin.  Yes, Desitin, the diaper cream.  I know, right?  Gross.

After discovering Desitin where the toothpaste should have been it was time to go Sherlock Holmes and figure out why the cream was there to begin with.  We haven't had a baby in diapers for more than four years, and unless my wife has a secret child hidden in the closet I'm quite sure everyone we know is out of the diaper phase of life.  Then it hit me.  My wife's a runner.  Over the course of a marathon things can get "rashy" if not treated properly.  Who am I to judge?  I used to have to wear Nip-Guards when I still ran.

Aside from the obvious side effects that could come from ingesting diaper rash cream there's the thought of the general area the diaper rash cream is intended to treat.  It was all too much.  When you start your day with diaper rash cream on your toothbrush it might just be the perfect day to hop back into bed and try again another day.  Unfortunately, in my job there are no "Desitin on the toothbrush" days.  There are only "Share your Desitin-on-the-toothbrush story online for all the world to read" days.