Paddle Boat Getaway Results in Jail and Epic Fail For Both Father and Son
Sometimes a father's eternal love for his child goes too far, as this Stupid News Network Update from Oakland County, Michigan proves to the world.
A father used to be someone you could count on for a good butt kicking if you got in trouble with the law. One man in Michigan seems less worried about being a good father and more concerned about being a good accomplice. Maybe my idea of proper behavior in the presence of police officers is skewed because I come from a family of law enforcement, but blocking police in pursuit of your wanted son does nothing but guarantee your son has company in the next cell.
In Waterford, Michigan, 27-year-old Mark Rood, wanted on a felony fugitive warrant for probation violations, was spotted by officers while he stood in his father's driveway. Upon spotting the Michigan Department of Corrections and Waterford Township Police headed his way he did what most of us would do... run! Wait, check that. Paddled. That's right, certain MENSA-candidate Mark hopped in his neighbor's paddle boat and started pumping those legs like Lance Armstrong biking away from WADA drug testers.
To make sure Thanksgiving dinner is two family members short instead of one, Mark's dad, Mark Sr., blocked officers from pursuing his pride and joy while he made his Mr. Bean-esque getaway. Thankfully, the Coast Guard didn't need to be put on alert, because Junior's trip into Lake Oakland didn't last long. With nothing but smooth sailing ahead of him figuratively-speaking, it wasn't so smooth in the literal sense. Rood's Austin Powers-inspired getaway came to a rude ending with the paddle boat capsizing and Rood taking a wet trip to jail with dad.
Junior is being held on $25,000 cash bond, while dad waits for a $20,000 cash bond. Neither seems likely. Something tells me if the Rood family could afford that kind of cash, or even a decent attorney, he wouldn't have made such a cartoonish attempt at escape. If the image of this story swirling through your brain doesn't make you laugh out loud, go back and read this article again, but this time read the article with the Benny Hill theme song playing in your mind's ear. That should help grasp the pure silliness of this whole situation.